I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
