PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
