just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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