If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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