do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
