we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I lost the right to judge tonight
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
