I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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