I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
