matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
