i think my mom watched the whole time
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
