I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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