Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
no you cant smoke seaweed
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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