After last night, I could never be a politician.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
A+ Viking dick
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
