i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
