she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
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We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
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Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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