And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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