Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
