I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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