That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize