Whatcha textin bout Willis?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
false alarm. still invincible.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
