Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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