I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
