Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Me too!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
