So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize