As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
