I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
