I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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