i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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