Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
