just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
