Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I cannot find my penis.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the condom got lost in my hair
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
