No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
