Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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