You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
