I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
