i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
