My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
