he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
