Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize