how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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