Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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