Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
