After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
