I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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