nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize