if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
