ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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