everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
