Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
