Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
