I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
