let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm really busy with my period
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