i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
