Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
