Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
