you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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