she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
