I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
