someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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