My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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