I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
