I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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