he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
