he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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