Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
