Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
