sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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