ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
