My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
